Joseph we
are told, was a righteous man, morally right and virtuous. Given a choice of
how he was going to follow custom, he weighed his options and chose the way that
would be least damaging to Mary. I say least damaging, because while not
publicly disgracing her, she would still either be a problem to her family or
be without any means of support.
But
something happened just when Joseph had resolved to do this. An angel appeared
to Joseph in a dream. “Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife” the angel
told him. Now there are many reasons one could assign to Joseph’s fear, but at
least one of them would be for a righteous man to go against custom. Joseph was
trying to do the right thing. But often our ideas of the right thing are bound
by custom. To break free of our assumptions, of what our society expects of us,
this can be frightening in and of itself.
“The child
conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit,” the angel tells Joseph. Joseph would
have heard through the scripture he was trying to live by that the Holy Spirit
was involved in creation, God’s breath within us that was teacher and guide,
and a manifestation of God’s presence. Exactly how Joseph understood this,
given first century understandings of how pregnancy worked, we don’t really
know. Did Joseph have any understanding that he was to parent the third person
of the Trinity? I would guess not. That the child was of God, though, was
clear.
But Joseph took
immediate action after waking from this dream. There was no doubt in him that
this was indeed communication from the Lord. Sometimes you just know. Other
times it’s a bit more difficult.
I have
prayed over many of the hard decisions in my life (and some of the easy ones
too, for that matter.) But the hard ones require a special listening. Some kind
of contemplative practice, some quieting of the mind I believe is needed in
order to listen for that sometimes frustratingly still small voice of the
Spirit.
Discernment
is not an easy matter. Listening for the Spirit’s guidance can be tricky
because it’s usually the most quiet voice within us. There’s our mental chatter
to contend with. There’s our fear based ego to contend with. And there are also
voices that are self-defeating, cunningly self-destructive, demonic if you
will. It’s best, I think to have community, or at least a confessor – someone
to get a reality check from. Because it’s not always clear which voice you are
hearing.
Honestly
none of my answers have come to me in dreams. And while I’ve had visions, most
of them were vague and needed much interpretation; I did not know right away
what they called me to do. Other times though, other times, it would be a
seemingly random phrase an acquaintance made, or a snippet of song heard on the
radio, and suddenly inspiration would come. Because I was listening for
guidance, I would hear it loud and clear. Usually it was not an option I had
previously considered, I just somehow knew that this new idea had not come from
me.
And often,
like Joseph, this new idea is a more compassionate response than conventional
wisdom could provide. What if I behaved in a way no one expected? What would my
friends think? Would people think I was crazy? All possible, and yet, my heart
would know I was being genuinely loving.
Liturgically,
we’re still waiting. Mary is pregnant, our Lord and our God has not yet been
incarnated. But the “Christmas season” started even before Halloween this year.
And while there’s plenty to complain about stores promoting Christmas this
early, it’s a clear indication of how bad our economy is. Having worked in
retail for decades, I can tell you without the emphasis on gift giving at
Christmas; most stores could not stay in business. Pushing Christmas early I
believe is evidence of how many businesses are struggling.
But along
with the commercialization, comes the TV specials, the pretty songs, and other
appeals to the heart. There’s a lot of talk of peace on earth and good will to
men at this time of year. A lot of “Hallmark” or “After School Special” ideas
of loving. A lot of genuinely well intentioned activity. There’s a lot of
charity in people’s heart. Joseph’s original resolve would have been considered
very charitable by the standards of his time and culture.
But perhaps
we’re called to more. Not just as a gesture at Christmastime, but as a general
rule. Can we ask ourselves, what would be the radically loving thing to do?
What would be so loving that it would seem insane to those around us? Later in
the Gospels, Jesus’ family wants to take him away, thinking he has lost his
mind. Joseph is not mentioned in that story, it’s traditionally presumed he had
passed away by then. Maybe he would have thought so too, maybe he would have
remembered his own crazy act of loving during Jesus’ time in the womb, we’ll
never know.
But we do
know that Jesus’ radical message of love, of championing the outcast and
unclean, of turning social expectations upside down, was enough for John the
Baptist to question him, for his family to turn against him, for the powers
that be to call for his death. This is the kind of loving those of us who
follow Jesus are called to. A kind of loving we could never manage if he hadn’t
gifted us with the Holy Spirit that conceived Him.
Readings:
Isaiah 7:10-16
Romans 1:1-7
Matthew 1:18-25
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